(And no, this is not the script to an impressive workout based tiktok.)
For those who don’t know me, I am a generally high functioning individual. Each and every day of my life, it is important for me to be able to get at least one thing done that makes me feel better about myself and work towards my larger goals. This means that for me things that still make me feel better such as cleaning my room, making a fancy dinner, working out or painting will not help me feel like I’m accomplishing much. I don’t know if that is how other people feel and I don’t understand why I feel this way, but I do.
While in lockdown at home, I have had a lot on my to-do list. At first this meant working towards a successful college graduation and once that was done it transitioned into finding a means of income or a diploma I was working on. It was also energy I wanted to put into creating a business or some sort of a brand that I could further in the future and have as an outlet from my job that was more mainstream in its own sense.
I have always been a person of many big goals and high standards. While, I have seen many periods that I have been through where I have not been able to achieve them, this lockdown became an extended one of sorts. In the normal world, even if I didn’t achieve some of my goals I always had was to find new ones that I could complete in the meanwhile, but now I’m stuck. I’m stuck both physical and mentally and its pushing me into a place I didn’t think I would ever see myself as a fresh college graduate.
While I am fortunate to be at home with my family, and I spend lots of time alone, it still somehow feels that I would like nothing more to be alone. I feel unable to think and achieve those goals that have meant so much to me. But having time to also process these feelings here are some thoughts I have come across that may be pointless but I feel like are worth sharing.
I have definitely developed a post-meal sweet tooth and have caused my family to have one as well. All my quarantine baking is really going places.
I have become so well acquainted with Blogilates videos, I can feel different markers come up in her script such as her talking about her mat and nails or about how she loves making sure that you remember that the hamstrings are the elevator to the butt.
On the note of fitness, I have also realized how much I miss lifting weights in a class. As Connor Franta best says it; “my motivation has always been stronger when it’s part of a collective’. I am also now sadly very aware that group classes will never be the same.
My new favorite plant based milk is cashew-oat from a local brand that delivers because it tastes the most like real milk. The consistency is also perfect so that it doesn’t make cereal soggy as fast as normal milk does.
You can notice the stark difference between generations when someone refers to a Tiktok as a Tiktok video.
These are just some of the things I have moved my focus to, when I can’t be doing what I want to be doing. Please let me know how you’ve been keeping you mind occupied, because body and mind are two very different systems that I have only now realized need to be pushed towards coexistence.