I’m not going to try and offer any bookish definitions of mindfulness, because quite frankly, I don’t know them myself. Instead, I would rather try and explain it in my own words, and speak from experience.
There’s a lot going on in our lives. At any given point in time, we’re juggling work and relationships while still trying to have enough time in the day for ourselves. It’s a tricky balance to achieve, and if you can’t do it, that’s okay! The idea of a 9-5 doesn’t really exist anymore, and between the omnipresence of social media and being just a tap of a button away from anyone in the world, finding time for yourself just isn’t easy. Even if you aren’t dealing with a mental illness or disorder, sometimes you just get overwhelmed. Your senses get dialed up to 11, your heart feels like it’s struggling to break out of your ribcage and you can’t envision anything beyond what you are feeling in the moment. At times like these, mindfulness proves its worth.
In essence, mindfulness is the process of actively bringing your mind back in touch with your body. Re-establishing that connection can go a long way towards helping calm your mind and help you find peace. A lot of people develop coping mechanisms to help them deal with the things they aren’t equipped to deal with. Some of these coping mechanisms are healthy, others not so much. The fact is that whether we like it or not, these mechanisms form an integral part of our identities, and eventually turn into our mind’s first response to a situation. So I’d say it’s better to go the healthier route, wouldn’t you agree?
Everyone has different triggers; it can be a failure to deal with criticism or being poorly equipped to deal with something going wrong at home. Mindfulness isn’t something that will magically make all those problems go away, nothing quite works that way. But mindfulness will undoubtedly help train your mind to calm itself, and over time you’ll see the urge to act erratically and irrationally in response to these problematic stimuli melt away. In the short term, mindfulness offers a reprieve from feeling overwhelmed. In the long run, it can help train your mind to channel what you’re dealing with, one of two ways; acceptance or resolution.
I’ve used mindfulness in the past on more occasions than I can count, to stop my heart from racing, to alleviate a sinking feeling deep in my gut, or even just to help curb a depressive episode. The reason I can do it is because someone taught me the way. Everyone isn’t necessarily armed with this knowledge, so I’m going to give you a run-down of Mindfulness 101: Do It for Yourself, Or for Someone in Need.
You or your friend is feeling overwhelmed. They are being taken over by the emotions they are feeling, and their body’s response to an event that just took place. What can you do? Mindfulness makes it pretty easy actually, especially if you follow the steps below:
1. Sit down, place your feet firmly on the ground (ideally bare feet)
2. Try to take 5 deep breaths. Try, if you can’t, that’s alright, just go onto the next step
3. List 5 things you can hear. Say them out loud. Look for sounds beyond your immediate surroundings. A car honking in the distance, construction work, people running around downstairs. See if you can deepen your breathing now.
4. List 5 things you feel. This does not deal with emotions, rather tangible feeling. How does your hair feel on the top of your head? How do your clothes feel against your skin? Are you sweaty? Are you cold? Can you feel the breeze from the fan or the air conditioner? Is your mouth feeling dry? Maybe have some water if it is.
5. Try to become aware of your body. Start at the top of your head and make your way down to your toes. Are your shoulders tight? Is your jaw clenched? Maybe loosen them up. Do you want to lean back a little? How does the floor feel against your feet? Ask yourself these questions and answer them out loud.
6. If you haven’t been taking deep breaths so far, try now. It should be a little easier. Then whenever you’re ready, slowly open your eyes and see how you feel. Are there any differences before and after you did mindfulness training?
7. If you’re walking your friend through this process, place a hand on their knee with their permission. If they say they need space, step away, listen to what they ask of you. Your job is to help them through this process. If they can’t do a step, move on, come back to it later. Improvise however you’d like, but focus on the various sensations of the body.
Seems pretty easy right? Well, that’s because it is. Ideally, you would have a friend helping you out, but this is just as effective if you’re on your own. There are actually people out there with clinical depression, who are able to stay off medication by doing mindfulness training multiple times, every day. It doesn’t work for everyone, but it can work for some. You don’t have to do this just when things go bad, take five minutes, and connect with your body. You will find yourself becoming more aware of how you act and react physically to emotional stimuli. Over time, you will be able to use this understanding to not only gain a deeper understanding of what you are feeling but also learn what you need to do to acknowledge those feelings and begin moving past them.
I’m not a medical practitioner of any kind. This is just my understanding of mindfulness and what it has done for me, and some of the friends I’ve walked through this process. Read about it, develop your own version of it, and use it. It’s an invaluable addition to your mental health arsenal.