None of us can choose the circumstances into which we are born, or how our formative education comes to us or who our family is. For some of us, we were fortunate to be born into a family whose ideals were just and understanding. For others, they were born in households where the ideals they were brought up with were problematic. Most of us through, land somewhere in the middle of these two extremes. However, the older you get, the more choices life presents to you to learn about situations you had not encountered and knowledge that had not presented itself.
Now, is that kind of time. With movements all over the world and at home in India, demanding justice and equality, for those of us who are privileged to any extent, this may not even have crossed your mind. Some of us never had to consider the fact that there have been people who have struggled to reach the little goals others achieved every day. This leaves us with the responsibility to have such conversations educating those who didn’t see these problems or prejudices, and then work towards the collective goal of pushing these issues away.
The hard part though is that social media has made much of the world aware that there are problems and protests, but only a small number within Generation Z and Millennials have been educated as to what the root of the problem is. This leaves these individuals with the responsibility of passing on this message. It is bitter medicine, but it will make things better for the future.
I, for one know I try to avoid situations where I am forced to confront the other party. I don’t like getting into a fight and sure as heck, I don’t like being yelled at for being incorrect in the eyes of the other person. However painful, these are situations that must be addressed, and here are a few things you can do to prepare yourself for these unpleasant, but necessary and eventually even fruitful conversations.
Firstly, educate yourself. There is no tool that is more powerful than you being ready to face all the hard questions you get with straight facts. Knowing what you are talking about makes the subject not only easier to defend but also easier to explain and thus more likely to reach the person you are speaking to. Next, while you are doing this research and educating yourself, structure your arguments. If this means you need to make a checklist of the points you have to cover and the order to go in, that’s great. Personally, when I speak about something with a passion I tend to lose track of the point and end up going on tangents. Often this means I don’t get my point across and my arguments are not clear enough to make sense.
Now comes the time to actually speak to the person you want to address. Set the stage for your conversation, make sure you actively take the time out of the person’s calendar, because they need to know what you are speaking about is very important. This will also ensure that they are not distracted from your topic and have to give it their full undivided attention. Finally bring both your passion and clarity of thought to the table. Make sure you are clear, concise and to the point, but also ensure that your passion shows how this is an important issue and allows you to answer their queries in a more than just adequate fashion.
You will never be truly ready to have a conversation with a person who has no idea what you are talking about. You have the power of education and understanding on your side and sometimes just do it because in your heart you know it’s right. No one was born perfect, but we are fortunate enough to try and make those changes to help people work towards doing the right thing. And the time for this change is now.
Let us know if you have had to have any of these hard conversations in the recent past and share them in the comments below. It is always easier to have a tough conversation if you know someone around you is doing the same!