Each and every year I would get excited for my birthday a few months before it came. I would consider themes, guest lists, menus, decorations; basically the works. However, as time would tick by, I would slowly forget about all my ideas and plans and would be absolutely confused as to what I wanted for my birthday. Eventually, I would opt for a little to non-existent celebration. I always felt that since I had one of the notorious exam-season birthdays, people constantly forgot about it and that they had more important things to do during that time. I notoriously avoided gift giving and gift taking (except with very close friends) and I just kept it on the DL in general.
For me, my language of love is usually food. If you are at my house or I am very happy to be at yours, I will come with some food or baked goods to show my gratitude. So, food became my first step towards creating something special for my own events and for those of others. Over time things for me slowly began to change. I slowly began to appreciate the joy giving little custom gifts gave me and I learned of the joy that a great day can give someone else. It was just another way that I could show up for the people I love and give them something they can appreciate forever.
However, this still didn’t address why I was in a place where I didn’t feel like putting in the effort of a celebration in the first place. Celebrations are created with the expectation of a certain amount of people showing up and enjoying the occasion. These expectations are created just as much, if not more for the guests than the host. And in my case with all my exam-time birthdays, my expectations had been crushed over and over by people prioritising their studies. I could never convince myself that I was more important.
In all these times my Mom was my cheerleader. She would put together surprises and make sure that no matter what the occasion was, I felt special in some shape or form. With my first big party in a while on my 21st birthday (right before COVID-19 hit India), I realised that I need to do for myself what she has been doing for me. Especially, looking back on the pictures from my birthday I have realised the importance of being a little over the top for events I enjoy.
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With all celebrations being shifted online, I have definitely not been doing what I want to in creating these memories. It is easy to underestimate the joy you can bring to someone from the confines of your own home and I want to work on changing that. With alarming news coming at us every day, it reminds us of how we must showcase the importance of the people closest to us, because it’s just a matter of time before the universe throws us another curve-ball.
With all this talk about making memories, I also want to say that by no means will I become extravagant. I will never be able to endorse a wedding that’s 10s of crores of rupees or has large amounts of non-biodegradable decorations. For me, those ‘things’ just don’t add up. But what truly does is creating a space and manufacturing occasions that lead to everlasting memories of laughter and all things happiness.
Just imagine, something as small as having my birthday during exams prompted such introspection and evolution within me, what can the small events in your life do for you?
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