This post is courtesy our guest writer, Simran Juwarker!
No one would have ever thought 2020 would turn out this way; but here we are, five months later, embracing the new normal and with it, a new way of keeping in touch and up to date on each other’s lives.
Within a matter of days, I, like many others, witnessed my entire social life go digital. This brought with it severe symptoms of something I thought I was immune to, FOMO. My FOMO, unlike the new world, had already adjusted itself with all my pain points and found itself a cozy corner within my LinkedIn homescreen. Having recently graduated into a volatile employment market, with most of my plans left unfulfilled, I found myself in an internal battle, trying desperately to define what productivity would now look like for an “educated, unemployed” young woman. Every app I opened, I found someone with a job, a plan, and gradually every scroll session turned into a pity party of my own uncertain situation. From here on, ensued the painful process of scouting for employment. I seriously came to believe that if I added another qualification to my LinkedIn bio, I’d not feel so left out and in turn, better about myself.
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The outcome? I still don’t have a job, it still affects me at times, but all this time that I had to myself made me realise that what unsettled me so much was not that I didn’t have a plan, it was that I wasn’t on a plan preset by society. “A break” isn’t exactly something that our society has deemed acceptable and is still a thing of mystique, that’s alright, until you’re the one taking it. Even though I have a support system in place, I had trouble reconciling with the fact that my current needs were different than everyone around me.
This quality of comparing ourselves and our successes with others while negating failures and those whom they belong to is something that is conditioned within us from a very young age. The “Sharma Ji ka Beta” narrative runs strong right from our education system that pits kids against each other, celebrating those that meet its standards and negating the rest as “unfocused” or “confused”. Fast forward to adulthood and this manifests as a personal problem, making several of us anxious about “keeping up” and in turn affecting our mental health. So any progress we make that is not deemed appropriate by society, ends up seeming small in comparison to what others may achieve.
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After a painful and introspective process, I have come to peace with where I’m at. How? By focusing on the small things I do, instead of looking at the bigger picture, prioritising my current needs over what will look better for me in the future. I believe that this pandemic presents an opportunity to take a step back, re-evaluate and recharge, breathe and take a glance, even if this time is thrust upon me by the pandemic and the way it’s changed markets. Sometimes taking a step back often reveals more about the next five. For example, you may want a few months off or start with a less demanding job or even change your career path all together.
At the risk of sounding redundant, I constantly reiterate the fact that the pandemic is not a productivity contest and not participating in this metaphorical contest has proven to me that life is not a series of deadlines. The one thing I thank this pandemic for, is teaching me that my clock is as valid as everyone else’s. I am well on my way towards unlearning my habit of evaluating myself against ideals that I never set for myself in the first place.
We, as a society do have a long way to go in order to reconcile with the fact that any skill we acquire, baking, coding, learning a new language or any task we complete is worth celebrating. Progress looks very different for different kinds of people and every kind of progress is valid. We need to accept this and reprogram ourselves to focus on doing enough for ourselves instead of doing great for anyone else. So wherever along your journey you are, you’re doing great!
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