This piece comes to you courtesy our guest writer, Roop Sawhney!
As a 20-something who still hasn’t figured out who she is, take it from me, finding yourself is not easy, but it is inevitable. For social media influencers, ‘soul searching’ may look like a month-long staycation in the hills coupled with a six-month social media cleanse and absolutely no human contact for a week. But the reality is far from it. Finding yourself looks more like tough decisions, confrontations, a good breakdown or two and so much more. Everybody has a different process and it is not nearly as glamorous as social media makes it seem.
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Three years ago I moved cities and it was the first time I was staying away from home. I thought it would be a life changing experience and that I had finally found my calling. Fast forward to today, my life is nowhere near what I had imagined. For starters, graduating (not quite) smack in the middle of a pandemic was enough to throw me off the rails. That, along with little to no job prospects, barely any closure with city I had grown to love, leaving my closest set of friends behind and having no clue what to expect, triggered a series of existential spirals that, more often than not, were coloured in self-doubt and self-loathing. It was safe to say, I was more lost than when I had started out. What I can confidently say after these three years though, is that I am a completely different person and I figured out a lot about myself, the good, the bad and the ugly. I might still not know what I want to do or where I want to be, but I do know who I am to a certain extent.
What my point is, trust the process, you will not have one single “Eureka!” moment but you will have a series of epiphanies along the way. You might find out things you don’t like and for the longest time you will be in denial of those shortcomings. But that is a part of the process; learning and unlearning, recognising who you are and who you were. My anxiety addled brain often prevents me from recognising what I have achieved and I’m sure I’m not alone. But the truth is, the process is inevitable and you have probably already learnt a lot about yourself unknowingly. Knowing what makes you tick, what makes you happy, what makes you sad and recognising your triggers, all these things play a huge part in finding yourself. It is only a series of trials and errors and there is no real shortcut to success. Every decision you make, every conversation and thought you have will give you a missing piece of the puzzle.
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Barring cheesy metaphors and unsolicited advice there isn’t much I can say about finding myself as a 21-year-old. The millennial mentality and an unhealthy dose of social media have completely changed how we perceive ourselves, which inherently is another nail in the coffin. But what I can tell you is, that it is definitely not as scary as it sounds, and worrying about finding yourself, for now, should be at the bottom of your to-do list. Focus on your growth and mental health, everything else is secondary. You’re doing great!
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What did your journey to finding yourself look like? We love hearing from you! If you are interested in guest writing for our website, Contact Us or email us at youredoingokaypod@gmail.com