This post is courtesy our guest writer, Rhea Gopinath!
If there is one thing that’s guaranteed in life, it’s the number of curve-balls it’s going to throw you. It isn’t easy to be prepared to deal with the hands you’ve been dealt with, but in every single situation I have found myself in, I have discovered that there is only one way to truly heal.
Time.
My life turned upside down three years ago. It wasn’t something that was in my control or something I could say that I saw coming. It just happened. Like many experiences in life that shape you into who you are, it just happened. Back then, it was very easy for me to channel my pain into self-loathing or blaming others who were in the same boat as me. I was constantly looking for anything that would distract me from what I was feeling. Whenever I was inevitably brought back down to my reality, it would be so painful that I would be rendered speechless for a while.
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I was convinced that there was no escape for me, no escape from the terrible head-space I was in. Everything I did or saw felt like a cruel reminder of what used to be and that was what I found myself focusing on every minute of every day; the past, or what I’ve come to recognise as, the bridge to nowhere.
However, I was wrong.
While the journey was still painful and slow, it became easier with every passing day. What used to be a breakdown every day turned into once a week, then to a couple of times a month and now to once or twice a year. Every breath I took started to feel lighter, the weight on my shoulders gradually reducing in size and the tight smile I used to manage for the people around me into one that was wholeheartedly genuine.
As time passes, allow yourself to grow with it. The past for me was and sometimes still is a trap. It provides you with the delusion of comfort but it is important to remember that it comes from a world that no longer exists and that you no longer belong to.
You belong to the present. A living, breathing and thriving present that yearns for you to regain your energy and will to live in the now.
It’s very easy to blame yourself and others for things that are out of your control. It is simply a way for you to make yourself feel better and to receive some closure. It is important to remember that can do more harm than good. As you can see, I learned that the hard way.
But what I have done from my experiences is grown. I cannot say that I am the same person that I used to be, but what I am today is somebody that I am proud of. The moment I decided to let go of the past and attempt to move forward, the speed of my mental and emotional recovery increased tenfold. I found myself to be much happier, finding comfort in loved ones and growing into the small appeals of the present. What used to be a forbidden secret for me eventually turned into something I could start to talk about and most importantly, acknowledge.
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I found that acknowledging everything that has happened is one of the most important steps on the way to recovery. It helps you finally process everything and put it away, the glowing path to a better future right in front of you.
I have found that time is the only thing that can help you find peace in your experiences. It is the only thing that can help you reflect on where you come from and how strong you are for making it this far. It is important to recognise that while you are not your experiences, you can truly grow from them.
Sometimes, there is no other solution but to wait for your wounds to heal. Have faith in yourself and the person you will become. Don’t shy away from the comfort of loved ones and make sure to stick with one another during troubling times because you might find that all you have left is each other.
I can’t say that the scars will disappear, but what they will do is fade as time passes by.
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